Dear Michelle Obama: First, Do No Harm

The government’s new campaign, Let’s Move, to “tackle the challenge of childhood obesity,” scares me.

I’m not scared of what we’re being told we should be scared of: fat, fast food, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, red meat (whatever is the so-called demon of the day), I’m scared of the repercussions of this campaign and similar well-intended but off-the-mark educational efforts. They’re easy to spot. Just listen for the battle cry: “We’re fighting fat. We’re waging a war on childhood obesity.”

Children are the victims. Their eating will be manipulated and restricted. Parents are the victims, too. They will be told they must control how much their kids eat. Everyone will end up feeling terrible. And family meals—the time that should be relaxing and enjoyable and the place where families have the opportunity to connect—will become the battlefield.

The campaign messages will mess with people’s bodies and minds. Many will suffer. Instead of “winning the war on obesity,” people will become fatter and there will be an increase in eating disorders.

These campaigns will backfire. Here are just a couple of the reasons why:

• The wrong perspective: Negative vs. positive. Instead of focusing on health and coming from a place of nurturing and trust with feeding and eating, these campaigns focus on “unwanted” fat: fat bodies and food that supposedly makes us fat. Telling kids they’re fat (implying that “something is wrong with them”) is counterproductive and damaging. Let’s try trust and acceptance of children’s appetites, eating skills, and growth.
• An attempt to control. Trying to control a child’s eating takes away their autonomy which is crucial for growth and development. In a healthy parent/child relationship with food, there is a Division of Responsibility. The parent is responsible for providing food on a dependable schedule in a positive environment; children have the right to choose what and how much they want to eat from what is provided and whether they want to eat at all.

In the words of Ellyn Satter, child feeding expert, “Children are entitled to be free from worry about eating, moving, and weight. Once they establish the critically important structure of meals and snacks, adults must trust children to learn to eat the food they eat, eat as much as they need, and grow in the way that is genetically appropriate for them.”

The solution to a healthy relationship with food, feeding and eating is to ensure that parents-to-be, parents, and caregivers have a working knowledge of the Division of Responsibility. It’s the parent’s job to offer meals and snacks on a regular schedule, eat with their children, model enjoying a variety of foods, and follow the Division of Responsibility, developed by Ellyn Satter, MS, RD, LCSW.

Parent’s Feeding Jobs

• Choose and prepare food
• Provide regular meals and snacks
• Make eating pleasant (No pressure, bribing or other control tactics. This is time to connect with your family)
• Model what you want children to learn about food and behavior
• Do not let children graze for food or beverages (except water) between meals and snacks
• Let children grow up to have the body that is right for them (Unconditional acceptance of a child’s appetite and body is critical)

Child’s Eating Jobs
As long as parents stick to the “parent’s feeding jobs” and don’t pressure children to eat more or less, children will:

• Eat the amount they need
• Learn to eat the foods you eat
• Choose a variety of food over several days
• Grow predictably in the way that’s right for them
• Learn to behave at the table

Ellyn Satter wrote a letter to First Lady Michelle Obama to share her expertise and insight about child feeding and weight in regard to the Let’s Move campaign.

In addition, below is a link to letters others have sent.

To: First Lady Michelle Obama
Re: Child obesity: Help without harming
From: Ellyn Satter

As a Family Therapist and Registered Dietitian, in the 45 years I have been helping people with eating/feeding/weight issues, I have made most of the mistakes. I had the luxury of erring in the privacy of my clinical office. You don’t have that luxury. Please accept my insights about what works—and what doesn’t—with respect to addressing child obesity and, more importantly, achieving our mutual goal of letting children be all they can be.

Don’t talk about child obesity. Research shows that children who are labeled overweight or obese feel flawed in every way–not smart, not physically capable and not worthy. Parents who fear obesity hesitate to gratify their child’s hunger for fear s/he will get fat. Such labeling is not only counterproductive, it is unnecessary. From birth, child obesity can be prevented—and treated—by maintaining a division of responsibility (DOR) in feeding: Parents do the what, where, when of feeding and children do the how much and whether of eating. The DOR is recognized by the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Food and Nutrition Service of the USDA and its programs (WIC, School Nutrition, Child Care Food Program), Public Health, Head Start, and CDC, among others.

Provide, don’t deprive. You are on the right track in emphasizing programs that support food security for children and families. Children who are given regular, reliable, and rewarding meals and snacks eat as much as they need and grow appropriately. On the other hand, children who fear going hungry eat as much as they can whenever they can and get fatter than nature intended them to be. But don’t emphasize right and wrong foods. Stipulating “healthy” food is not part of the DOR. Expecting people to eat what they should rather than what they want creates a barrier to family meals. Instead, encourage family meals. When parents get the meal habit, sooner or later they get around to including fruits and vegetables.

Optimize feeding and parenting, and let children be children. Children are entitled to be free from worry about eating, moving, and weight. Once they establish the critically important structure of meals and snacks, adults must trust children to learn to eat the food they eat, eat as much as they need, and grow in the way that is genetically appropriate for them.

Letters to Michelle Obama about child feeding and weight