Thou Shall Not Compare: Healthy Body Image, Part 2

I’m attending a national conference with several hundred other women. As I looked around during the opening session, I saw women of all different shapes and sizes. I thought about how everyone was beautiful in their own way.

Just then, a 20-something tall blonde sat in the seat next to me. I must admit, before I realized it, I was feeling a tad dumpy. I caught myself thinking “Wouldn’t it be nice to have long legs like that…” then I immediately slammed the brakes on my thoughts. Maybe it would be nice; maybe it wouldn’t. Who knew?

I remembered a story I read in the book, Intuitive Eating by registered dietitians Tribole and Resch. One of their clients had attended a party and noticed a woman who appeared to be in fantastic shape. The client felt envious and berated herself, telling herself that if she worked harder, she should be able to have a body like that. What the client didn’t know was that the woman she was envying was battling bulimia.

The point is, it’s counterproductive to compare oneself to someone else. It hijacks personal power and leads to misery. What’s needed is a strong sense of self.

Esther Rose Parks, a private-practice registered dietitian in East Lansing who specializes in disordered eating and body image says, “A well-rounded, solid self esteem is the best antidote to disordered eating and poor body image.” She believes that people must feel good about themselves on the inside before they can accept and feel good about their appearance. Her advice is to identify inner strengths and positive qualities, then build on them. Shine from the inside out. When you’re feeling more positive and confident, you’ll have positive experiences.

(It’s a good time to remind the women readers that, time after time, surveys show that what men find most attractive about women is confidence.)

A tip that helps me every time comes from Telka Arend-Ritter, MSW, ACSW, a behavioral therapist in Okemos: Ask yourself, what would someone with a healthy self-esteem do right now?

It also helps to remember that God (or the higher power you believe in) made you the way you are for a reason. Your purpose in life is to love—that includes loving yourself inside and out—and to be the best you.